A few nights ago, I met up with a friend I had recently made in college. We hung out in the school library, conversing and sharing stories about teen years and the struggles of growing up, all the way into the late hours of the night. When I first met her in class, she bravely wore shirts exposing the scars covering her arms. She didn’t hide it, nor did she treat it as though it was something to be “ashamed of”. She had struggled a lot with self harming in the past, but was very open and comfortable talking about it with others. I didn’t ask her when we first met, though. I’d felt uncomfortable asking her about the scars, and out of respect I didn’t, feeling t it wasn’t any of my business. But that night when we hung out just talking and simply having a good time, curiosity got the better of me and I asked about self harming and why people do it. How did it start? Why did she do it? What did it feel like? Was it hard to stop? I myself have never self harmed or contemplated suicide, but I wanted to be able to understand people who struggle with these problems and why they do it.
I know that I can never truly feel the pain she or others had felt (or feel) in those dark moments, but I wanted to better understand it. I wanted to know why and how I could help people in the future. After telling me about it, she showed me a bunch of motivational and inspirational bracelets she’d collected and been given from people to look at when she felt the urge to cut, and I remind her to stay strong. I told her “you’re a nice person and a great soul… Please don’t hurt yourself.” And later jokingly I said, “cause if you die, who can I eat pancakes with? That’s the reason to live!” We laughed about it but it was a really heartwarming moment. A simple thing like “Pancakes”. Later I collected an old cheap bracelet id found and scribbled “Pancakes” in sharpie and gave it to her. I hope people who struggle with self harm and cutting stay strong like my friend and are able to stop and recover. My heart goes out to all of those people. Stay strong.
Sweeties become pills. Nursery rhymes become chants of self hatred. Juice turns to alcohol. Blades comfort you instead of a teddy bear. The little child you once knew, no longer exists.
|—||Lewis Carroll (Alice In Wonderland)|
From a dislocated shoulder:
When you’re mending.
|—||M.S. (via coffee-crinkled-pages)|
everyone needs to watch this video before they log off tonight
Tove Lo - Stay High (Habits Remix) ft. Hippie Sabotage
biting ur cheek